Z/Web

Director: Peter Jackson

Wow, what a wickedly perverse, freaked out film! If this had been done with human actors it would have been extreme, but not this extreme. This is the equivalent of finding your favorite children’s cartoon character in a bar, swearing, drunk, and high on crack while raping a woman.

Australia director Jackson (who’s now filming Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy) brilliantly satires everything under the sun by doing the film with puppets. Watching puppets behave like disgusting humans (complete with foul language, vomiting, bowel movements, crude sex, drug abuse, and violence) really shows you the insanity of society. Trust me — watching various animal muppets get their heads blown off by a submachine gun will change your perspective on life (either for the better or the worse). Not for the faint of heart, but hilarious for those who can handle it. It’s like a cross between a perverted Alice in Wonderland and South Park (there are several wicked songs, though I didn’t find this film as offensive as South Park, because here there’s a satirical purpose).

Amazing game, with everything on top. Juventus is almost always good, but Atalanta, though they started off the season well, have been struggling of late. Both are near the top of the table. The first hour of this game was routine, with neither team dominating or creating much. But then, late in the game, both teams started to play. Juventus began pushing forward aggressively, and this paid off when a gorgeous cross from Zinedine Zidane was missed by Inzaghi but headed into the goal by an opponent (Paganin). With that lead, you’d expect Juventus to win handily, as they are infamous for 1-0 victories. But just seconds later, in the 75th minute, Atalanta struck back. Off the kickoff the ball was played down the right wing, and eventually a cross was put into the box. In his first touch on the ball, substitution Lorenzi leaped up and headed the ball toward the goal. It arched over Van der Sar’s 10-foot stretch, struck the underside of the crossbar, and dropped into the goal. Amazing! With the score tied, everything went berserk. The ref shoved Davitz for no reason (as if the ref should be assaulting players for any reason), and Juve’s Kovacevic almost scored on a bicycle kick that cleared off the goalline. Then, in a tight offside call that wasn’t called, Ventola was let through with the ball, to go one-on-one with Van der Sar. The Dutch keeper’s good, but the player’s got a huge advantage, and Ventola gave his side the game winner with eight minutes left. Incredible game. Final: 2-1 Atalanta.

Cool game. I’m a Hamburg fan, and I thought they were going to take this one, but they let me down. Still, it was a good game. Bremen started things off with a brilliant free kick goal right at the stroke of halftime. Literally. It was the last play of the half. Pizarro’s kick went right into the corner, where Hamburg keeper Butt couldn’t possibly get it. But Hamburg came back in the second half with a great goal from Heinz. The ball basically bounced around in the box a bit, then was passed to the top of the key where a running Heinz blasted it. No chance for the keeper. Heinz had two more great attempts that were stopped by Roos, Bremen’s keeper, who made a number of great saves and I think was their most valuable player. But Ailton scored on a questionable penalty kick in the 76th minute, and then Pizarro got his second in injury time to put the matter beyond doubt. He ran up the left flank without a single player marking him! Final: 3-1 Werder Bremen.