//----------------------------\\ Adventures With Grandpa (tm) \\----------------------------// Tuesday, July 19, 2005 Edition #010 ____________________________________________________________ C O N T E N T S 010.1: Current Condition in Brief A quick summary of Grandpa's current condition 010.2: Language Loss Adventures in communication 010.3: Arctic Blast Freezes Summer Grandpa freezes during heat wave 010.4: Rich Grandpa Grandpa has money now 010.5: Stubborn Grandpa plays historian 010.6: Squeezing Easy Grandpa squeezes out a funny 010.7: Colophon ____________________________________________________________ 010.1: Current Condition in Brief A quick summary of Grandpa's current condition Grandpa's taken a turn for the worse lately. In the past couple of weeks he's got four conditions which have been aggravated. The stomach upset he's complained about for months continues, and he often doesn't eat because of it, which is frustrating. Switching his meds to the evening helped for a while, but lately the problem's been back during the day. It could be the stomach problems are caused by his diabetes, which has always been borderline, but could be having more of an effect. Grandpa's doctor told me that diabetics often can't completely empty their stomach and that can cause gas and belching and other inner turmoil. Speaking of the diabetes, his legs have become tremendously swollen. Apparently that's also a potential symptom of diabetes, though it could be caused by other factors. In the spring Grandpa weighed 121 pounds; last week at the doctors they weighed him at 144! Some of that might be legitimate weight gain (he lost some during his hospital diet), but a lot of that could just be water he's retaining. The doctor prescribed some medicine to help relieve the water, so I hope that works. The swollen legs are stiff and make his knee and hip ache, and make it very difficult for him to walk. He's also been complaining about having trouble breathing. He's got asthma and we use a nebulizer and liquid medicine he breathes through the machine to help open his airways, but his breathing lately has been raspy and he needs the medicine a lot more often than in the past. We do it twice a day now, where in the past we did a couple times a week, only when he was having trouble. This could be related to the water retention: there's fluid in his lungs and it could go away with the new medication. If not, we'll have to do a chest X-ray and see if it's an infection. The other problem is mental. Grandpa's always been an upbeat, positive person, but lately he's been down on himself. He's feeling old, weary, and often talks about dying. He's very emotional, breaking into tears at the slightest thing. For instance, if I tell him (for the hundredth time) that we've got a doctor appointment in an hour, he'll break into tears that he can't go, he's too weary, too ill, too old. My suspicion is that all this is directly linked to the sale of his house on the coast. He sees that as the final step in his life and can't get beyond that. He also can't remember the details about it, which is a problem, since he worries much too much about all his belongings (safely packed into storage or sold). His most recent trend is an odd moaning sound he'll make for hours at a time. He'll lie on his bed moaning and groaning, yet when I approach, he'll either react as though nothing is wrong, or when I press for the physical cause of the moaning ("Where does it hurt?") he'll reveal he's troubled about the house ("These people are buying my house and I've got to get all my stuff out and I don't know what I'm going to do.") When I tell him, "Grandpa, your stuff was packed away months ago, the house sold, and the new people have been moved in for a month," he is astonished. "Why didn't anyone tell me? Here I've been so worried and troubled about all my stuff!" I sigh; we've had this identical conversation a dozen times this past week, but he never remembers. I even wrote the details on a sign and put it by his bed. But he doesn't remember to read the sign! When I point it out, he's surprised. He's never seen the sign before, either. The doctor has proscribed a pill for "mood." I don't like drugs, but I think it's extremely unhealthy for him to be so stressed about things. I hear him at 5 a.m. moaning. Again at six, seventy-thirty, and eighty-thirty when I get up. For all I know, he's awake all night worrying. It does no good for me to talk to him; within an hour he's back at it, having forgotten our reassuring conversation. At first things seemed to be improving after we went to the doctor last week. His mood is less sour, the swelling is definitely reducing, and his breathing is a little better. But now he's stopped eating almost completely (he won't even eat breakfast any more). His appetite seems less and his stomach upset worse (he used to be hungry but not eat because of his stomach; now he's not too interested in eating). Monday he didn't touch his breakfast and last night he ate two graham crackers and one bite of watermelon. The best I can get him to eat at meals is a bite or two. Oddly, despite his lack of input, his output has increased: I think it's the medication for reducing the swelling. He has to go to the bathroom all the time and is sometimes incontinent (which is new). Worst of all, he's dreadfully tired. He sleeps all the time but can't stay awake. The past two days he hasn't wanted to get out of bed. He's very weak and tired. I'm going to call the doctor and see if we can figure out if it's the medications or something else. Please pray for him as I'm worried. He's no longer as strong as he was just a few months ago and he certainly won't regain strength by not eating. Individually his problems aren't that bad, but combined they weaken him severely, and it's complicated to diagnose exactly what's causing what and the interrelated nature of the symptoms make them complicated to diagnose. ____________________________________________________________ 010.2: Language Loss Adventures in communication Grandpa's in pretty good shape, physically and mentally, for 90 years old. But that doesn't mean he's immune to age. I've noticed lately a disturbing trend in his language. It's subtle, but I suspect he's losing some of his language skills. It is sad for a man who was a writer and editor and communicator. Often Grandpa will use words strangely, as though he's confusing the meanings. There's a subtle connection there -- the meanings are close -- but it's not quite right. He also tends to use archaic terms instead of modern ones (it's like he regressing to an earlier era). This makes for unusual speech! Like one morning he complained he couldn't find any "hose" -- it took some translation for me to learn that he was talking about socks! Other terms are understandable, just not common. Like he'll use pocketbook instead of wallet. Other times our communication comes to a complete halt: several times he's asked for "puffed rice" for breakfast; I have yet to find out what he's talking about. Another common problem is his poor description of his medical symptoms. He would frequently complain that his stomach was "going around in circles," but insisted this did not mean his stomach was upset. Sometimes he would use this "going around in circles" symptom as an explanation of why he _couldn't_ eat, while at another times he'd insist that it was caused by starvation and that he was famished. "Are you nauseated?" I ask. "No." "Do you feel like throwing up?" Grandpa: "Yes." Just recently he complained that his head was spinning. "You're dizzy," I said, trying to confirm. "No, I'm not dizzy. My head is spinning and the room's going around even though I'm not moving." "Well that's dizziness. That's what dizzy means." "No, dizzy means something else to me," he insisted (but he couldn't explain it). Occasionally words come out wrong. The other morning he said "It's a sad sail," then corrected himself to "It's a sad tail." At least he was able to figure out his mistake! What will it be like when he doesn't realize he's messed up? The other day he was trying to think of what to call the abbey that's up the road a few miles from my house. He went through several words, but couldn't come up with anything close. Finally, he gave up and said he just couldn't think of the term right now. Sometimes he actually means what he says. Once he talked about "mediating" with his pills. I corrected him, saying, "Don't you mean meditating?" since that's what he's said in the past. This time he shook his head and said, "No, mediating. I'm negotiating with the pills. We're in trade talks. Shall I swallow them or not?" His most common miscommunication technique of late is to answer a different question than asked. I suspect this is partially due to poor hearing: he anticipates a question and answers it regardless of what you really asked. This happens all the time with me, probably because I tend to ask unusual, unrelated questions and it throws him. While we're eating I'll say, "How are your teeth doing?" and he'll answer, "Fine. It's delicious." Or I'll remind him we've got an appointment and he'll answer, "No thank you, I've got plenty." Once I said, "Are you done with the chips?" and he said, "No," so I started to get him some more and he protested, saying he didn't want any more. That confused me. "You're not done with them but you don't want more?" "No, I don't want any more. I'm done." "But I just asked if you were done with them and you said 'no.' That would imply that you wanted more." "Oh! I misunderstood what you said. I thought you asked if I wanted more and I said no." It's like he's on his own track and he keeps going down that path regardless of which one I'm on. Talking to him during a movie or TV program is useless: he has to really concentrate to follow the show and he ignores everything else. I'll ask him if he wants popcorn or ice cream and he'll say, with eyes wide and staring at the screen, "No, I don't know what's going on." Or if I ask him if he understands the story he'll tell me that popcorn does sound good and he'd love some! Hopefully these language lapses are just normal aging and will progress slowly. In most ways, Grandpa is a remarkable communicator and it's great to still be able to have rational, complex conversations with him. But I do notice some slight cracks in the dam; I hope it's not a trend that accelerates (like in the sad movie "Iris" where the brilliant writer loses her ability to communicate). ____________________________________________________________ 010.3: Arctic Blast Freezes Summer Grandpa freezes during heat wave The autobody shop on the corner has a large display which alternates between the current time and temperature. When I came home one afternoon it read a pleasantly warm 82 degrees, though it seemed warmer than that when you were standing in the sun or physically active. I was sweating bringing in the groceries. Of course Grandpa was freezing. When I went inside he was sitting in my air conditioned house in front of the electric heater I bought him, shivering. The thermostat in the house was a not-so-cool 76 degrees. Grandpa looked at me and said, "Cold out there, isn't it?" "Grandpa, it's like 90 degrees outside! It's hot! Can't you see the neighbors have a sprinkler set up so the kids can run and play in it? They're all hot. It's HOT outside!" He frowns, silently disagreeing. "It doesn't look like it," he mumbles, rubbing his hands in front of his heater. My suggestion that we eat outside on the deck is met with panic and terror: he's absolutely convinced it's arctic weather outside. Of course when we do go outside he loves it and doesn't want to go back inside! Now I'm not a monster: the air conditioner only kicks in above 75 which is higher than I'd prefer, but I keep it that warm for Grandpa. It's just bearable to me, though I sweat more than I'd like. Not that it does any good: I had to buy him a heater to get him to stop complaining about the cold! Except the heater doesn't stop him complaining, so my plan backfired. He sits in front of the dining room window because he likes the view of passing cars and the setting sun on his face. Unfortunately, that window happens to be about the coldest place in the house, right in front of an air vent, and moans about how cold he is. Wearing his robe helps a little, but he doesn't produce enough body heat to make blankets or extra clothing that effective. He's just always cold regardless of reality. This isn't anything new, of course. It was the same in the winter time: he was always asking me to turn up the heat (I kept it at a toasty 72). And at his three-story beach house in Oceanside, Grandpa always kept it much too warm. He lived in the lowest floor (essentially the basement) and it was always nice and cool down there. Unfortunately, he controlled the thermostat and he'd pump up the heat to 80 and the heat would rise up to the third floor where my mom lived and she had to open all the windows to be able to breathe. So at his house, Grandpa heated the outdoors. At mine, it's hot outside so I pay to cool the house, and Grandpa uses electricity to run a heater to warm himself up! I guess getting old is full of such ironies. ____________________________________________________________ 010.4: Rich Grandpa Grandpa has money now Last December Grandpa got an emergency move from his home in Oceanside to the hospital in Tillamook, then to a care facility in Forest Grove, and eventually to my place. His wallet never made the trip and often when he and I needed to go someplace, he'd worry about not having the wallet. According to him, he'd just seen it, but couldn't find it right at that moment. He didn't believe me when I told him he hadn't had a wallet in months. This has been a minor source of contention for months, so I was grateful when recently my mom found his wallet and got it to me. It was suggested I put some money in it for him, so we stopped by his bank and I withdrew $60 from the ATM and gave it to him to put it in his wallet. He hasn't dealt directly with money for years now (a good thing since he can't remember what bills he has or hasn't paid), but it felt good for him to have a little cash. I decided spending the cash was an immediate priority so we went across the street to the place where I go for submarine sandwiches ("Big Town Hero"). It's right next door to where I get my haircuts, so we went in there first and each got cuts. I had Grandpa pay for his, which was funny, because he said he didn't have any money! I don't know if he was being sneaky to get me to pay -- we just came from the ATM -- or if he'd already forgot. He did a great job of acting surprised to find his wallet in his pocket and cash inside! I worried for a moment he might freak out at having to pay $11 for a haircut. Sometimes when he's confronted with modern prices he actually gets angry and growls about how he's "never paid more than fifty cents" (or whatever) for a haircut in his entire life. ____________________________________________________________ 010.5: Stubborn Grandpa plays historian Grandpa's a knowledgeable man, well-read and usually well-informed, but in his old age he's gotten remarkably stubborn about certain historical "facts." He states these facts with unabashed fervor and insists they are accurate, even though they often counter rational thinking. It's really an interesting phenomena. For instance, back on Mother's Day, when we had dinner at a fancy restaurant in Dundee, the owner told us about how she was there twenty-five years ago when Howard Hughes' "Spruce Goose" (the Hercules wooden airplane) was moved right past her restaurant on 99W on its way to the Evergreen Aviation Museum in McMinnville, where it rests today. The story got Grandpa started, and he went on about how he'd been to the museum to see it, as well as seeing the airplane when it had been located in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, Grandpa's got his timing wrong: he seems to think the plane was here in McMinnville, then moved to L.A., and then moved *back* to McMinnville! In fact, he absolutely insists that's reality, even though the restaurant owner (and everyone who knows anything about the history of the plane) knows that's not the case and that the plane only moved once (a logical deduction since you wouldn't want to move such a beast too often). Back at Christmas, we were watching the news showing that it was snowing in Houston, Texas, for the first time in like fifty years. Grandpa, of course, insisted it had snowed when he was there in 1980. He got quite angry about it when I protested. Who should I believe, the networks and Houston residents on TV who raved about this being their first snow in half a century or my Grandpa? Grandpa's made a number of outrageous claims while we're watching TV or movies, too. He mixes people and places and comes up with his own history of the world and is absolutely convinced it's accurate. It'd be funny if he weren't so serious about it. ____________________________________________________________ 010.6: Squeezing Easy Grandpa squeezes out a funny I bought a nifty container of local Marionberry jam the other day; it stores upside down so you can easily squeeze out the jam. The jam's called "Doodleberry" and encourages you (er, your kids) to doodle with the jam on your toast, pancakes, etc. Of course this confused Grandpa, who'd never seen jam in a squeeze bottle. He kept trying to store it right-side-up (the wrong way). I read the instructions to Grandpa: "Store upside-down for Easy Squeezy." "Easy Squeezy?" "Easy Squeezy." "Easy Squeezy. That sounds like my wife." ____________________________________________________________ 010.7: Colophon Publication Title: Adventures With Grandpa (tm) Frequency: Occasionally Price: $1,000,000 per issue Publisher: Marc Zeedar Author: Marc Zeedar Photographer: Marc Zeedar Copyright: Contents (photos and text) (C) 2005 by Marc Zeedar All Rights Reserved Telephone: 877-364-5922 Website: http://www.zeedar.com/grandpa/ To add, remove, or change your subscription details; make suggestions or complaints; report typos or errors; send millions of dollars; or send Grandpa or Marc a comment, send email to . If you'd like to telephone Grandpa (he loves to hear from people and he'll chat like the wind though he won't remember the call ten minutes later), you may call him toll-free at 877-364-5922. ###