//----------------------------\\ Adventures With Grandpa (tm) \\----------------------------// Monday, February 28, 2005 Edition #004 ____________________________________________________________ C O N T E N T S 004.1: Current Condition in Brief A quick summary of Grandpa's current condition 004.2: A New Home (for now) Grandpa settles into his new residence 004.3: Grandpa Still Alive Grandpa wants a roommate 004.4: Marc Abandons Grandpa Insane Marc buys ancient 4WD and drives to Calif. 004.5: Question of the Week "I hear Carol's dog, Monica, passed away in early January. How did Grandpa handle that?" 004.6: Colophon ____________________________________________________________ 004.1: Current Condition in Brief A quick summary of Grandpa's current condition On Monday Grandpa was moved to Oakwood Country Place, a rehabilitation center in McMinnville, Oregon. He'll stay there for a few weeks until he can regain his mobility and learn how to use his new hip. He seems to be settling in well and in good spirits. I'm not sure exactly what rehab (if any) has taken place yet, but just being out of the hospital is better. The staff treat him well and seem to enjoy his quirky sense of humor. Right now everything's new and interesting; I suspect he may get bored soon and be anxious to get home, but I think he understands that he'll come home when he's walking again. Next weekend we're planning an advance 90th birthday party for Grandpa when a couple of his grandkids come to visit (his actual 90th birthday isn't until May). Photo: "Grandpa's favorite pastime." ____________________________________________________________ 004.2: A New Home (for now) Grandpa settles into his new residence The last time Grandpa transferred to a care facility from a hospital was after Christmas, when he went from the Tillamook hospital to Camelot care facility in Forest Grove where he stayed until mid-January when he came to live with me. Unfortunately, he was whisked off early in the morning before my mom could get to the hospital so she had to meet him later in the afternoon at the facility. Even more unfortunately, Grandpa was so out of it he fabricated a horror story of how masked men came at midnight and kidnapped him. He tells how he was terrified, having no idea who they were, where they were taking him, or why he was being moved. With no relatives around, he wasn't even sure the family knew was what going on! I was determined to avoid that scenario this time around. While Grandpa's story may seem funny to us, it really was traumatic to him (he thinks it's true) and I didn't want him traumatized any more than necessary. I wanted to be there when he was transferred. On Monday I arrived at the hospital at around 10:30 a.m. I met the social worker who assists with discharges and we went over some insurance questions (she was missing some information I didn't have). I also had to call a local doctor and arrange for an appointment for Grandpa to get a new doctor because the care facility didn't want to accept him without a local doctor. Their in-house doctor agreed to accept Grandpa as a temporary patient until the new doctor takes over next week. Eventually, all the i's were dotted and t's crossed, and two nurses helped Grandpa get dressed in the clothes I brought. The transformation from tiny little old man in flimsy hospital gown to distinguished elderly gentleman in clothes was amazing. He felt good and was excited to leave. We got him into his wheelchair (I'd brought it) and waited for transport. At about 11:50 a.m. the transport man arrived and I followed him and Grandpa downstairs and outside the building. The transport van had a wheelchair elevator so Grandpa didn't even have to get out of the chair, which pleased him considerably. He seemed to completely understand what was happening and waved me off. "Go ahead, I'm fine. I'll see you over there," he said. I was amazed. I figured by the time the wheelchair got downstairs he'd have forgotten where we were going! Oakwood is five minutes from the hospital. It's a little more into the heart of the city instead of right off the highway, but it's still only about fifteen minutes from my house. I arrived and parked and as I was getting out of my minivan, the transport van arrived. I walked over as the guy unlocked Grandpa's wheelchair and gently lowered him to the ground on the elevator. Grandpa was smiling and I gathered he and the driver had been talking. Inside Oakwood, the driver wheeled Grandpa to the nurses' station. "New admittance," he said. "Forrest Colbaugh. And he wants lunch." (For some reason, both the hospital and the care facility insist on using Grandpa's first name. They claim they are legally obligated to do so. It's very confusing since he's used his middle name, Wildon, all his life. When you call the facility, be sure to ask for Forrest Colbaugh. In fact, the care facility was tempted to switch Grandpa to a different room because his roommmate is named Forrester and they feared confusion!) The fact that Grandpa wanted lunch was a surprise, since he'd still had his unfinished breakfast in front of him when I arrived at the hospital. I think he'd only taken a couple bites. But Oakwood staff got him a tray immediately and put him at a table in a small room with several other inmates -- I mean patients -- and he started eating and talking, introducing himself to the others and getting their names (probably not remembering them, of course). He didn't eat that much, but it was still more than he'd eaten at the hospital. He did ask for a second glass of water, which was amazing. Later, we got him to his room (313, exactly one hundred larger than his hospital room number) and they promptly undressed him so the nurse could examine him! But Grandpa was in good spirits and cooperated willingly. The nurse's aid thought he was funny. They said they liked patients with senses of humor. I left not long after that as it was already two o'clock. Grandpa told me to go, said he'd be fine. He was waiting for the rehab person to examine him. Unfortunately, I couldn't quite escape Oakwood so easily: I was cornered and forced to sign a mountain of papers admitting Grandpa into the facility. It felt like buying a house! "Only two more pages to go." ____________________________________________________________ 004.3: Grandpa Still Alive Grandpa wants a roommate A few days before Grandpa was to move to Oakwood for rehab, I asked him how he felt about having a roommate. "It doesn't sound like they'll have a private room for you," I explained. "How would you like a roommate?" "I want a female one," he said with a straight face. ____________________________________________________________ 004.4: Marc Abandons Grandpa Insane Marc buys ancient 4WD and drives to Calif. A few weeks ago Marc impulsively bought a new vehicle. He'd been looking for a truck or van or wagon -- something that would carry more stuff than his tiny Neon. After studying new vehicles and choking at the ridiculous prices, he checked out older ones, only to realize the stupidity of buying a 10-year-old SUV with more miles than his Neon. So he went the other direction and bought a 15-year-old Mazda MPV with 190,000 miles on it! Photo: "Marc's new 4WLD minivan." The van's pretty cool and in amazing shape for its age. It's got all the feature Marc wanted: tons of cargo space, cruise control, rear windshield wiper, air conditioning, brakes, and some nifty extras like electric windows, four-wheel drive, a towing bar, and a roof rack. Marc got the minivan cheap, but had to put a little money into it. Most important was a new stereo (Marc accidentally bought an XM satellite radio setup at the same time) and some minor stuff like a new battery and starter. The van carries seven people, ideal for a bachelor like Marc: he took out the middle seat so there's more room for cargo. Last Wednesday (Feb. 23) Marc drove the Mazda down to California to do some computer consulting. He returned on Sunday. The van not only survived the 1500 mile trip but did a great job, handling the mountains without a problem. Cruise control -- a key feature missing from Marc's Neon -- made the drive a pleasure. Even the four-wheel drive proved remarkably useful during a wet and rainy spell in the mountains around Weed, gripping the road securely and allowing Marc to continue home at breakneck speed. You can blame the tardiness of this issue on Marc's trip south. ____________________________________________________________ 004.5: Question of the Week "I hear Carol's dog, Monica, passed away in early January. How did Grandpa handle that?" The most interesting thing about Grandpa's reaction to Monica's passing was that I only had to tell him about it once and he remembered. This convinces me that he _can_ remember when he wants to do so. Several times after the fact he'd bring it up, saying to me or my mother, "We don't have a dog at home any more, do we?" He seemed to be sad but also reflected that the dog had a good life and it was probably for the best considering her deteriorating health. I think, like most of us, he was more concerned about my mother than the dog. Photo: "Grandpa watching Monica drink Carol's water." ____________________________________________________________ 004.6: Colophon Publication Title: Adventures With Grandpa (tm) Frequency: Weekly Price: $1,000,000 per issue Publisher: Marc Zeedar Author: Marc Zeedar Photographer: Marc Zeedar Copyright: Contents (photos and text) (C) 2005 by Marc Zeedar All Rights Reserved Telephone: 877-364-5922 Website: http://www.zeedar.com/grandpa/ To add, remove, or change your subscription details; make suggestions or complaints; report typos or errors; send millions of dollars; or send Grandpa or Marc a comment, send email to . If you'd like to telephone Grandpa (he loves to hear from people and he'll chat like the wind though he won't remember the call ten minutes later), you may call him toll-free at 877-364-5922. ###