//----------------------------\\ Adventures With Grandpa (tm) \\----------------------------// Friday, February 11, 2005 Edition #002 ____________________________________________________________ C O N T E N T S 002.1: Current Condition in Brief A quick summary of Grandpa's current condition 002.2: Grandpa Reads a Story... Sort Of Life with no short term memory 002.3: The Busy Street Grandpa's meal-time conversation lacks variety 002.4: The Missing Dinner Grandpa is starving 002.5: That's Two Grandpa's subtle sense of humor shows 002.6: Question of the Week "How much sleep is Marc getting?" 002.7: Colophon ____________________________________________________________ 002.1: Current Condition in Brief A quick summary of Grandpa's current condition Grandpa wants to go home. He thinks he's fine. Because his short-term memory is so poor, he can't remember any problems. He doesn't remember waking me up at night to help him urinate, doesn't remember me assisting him getting dressed or undressed or helping him in and out of bed. Sometimes I actually think it's better for him when he's physically tired. When he feels good, he starts thinking about his garden and all the "work" he has waiting for him at home, and he wants to go do it. One day it was sunny here in Lafayette and he told me, "If I was home, I'd be out back working on my wall." (I think that's his retaining wall in his back yard.) Of course this was coming from a man who's in a wheelchair and can barely get out of it! When his leg is bothering him he feels old and tired, and he's aware that he can't do stuff at home and is content to be where he is. Mentally, that might be a better situation for him. I feel bad when he gets his hopes up and thinks he'll get better and be able to return home. We don't really talk too much about him going home or not -- it's a sensitive subject -- but I try to be honest with him. Rationalizing isn't his strong suit, especially with an emotional issue, but there have been a few occasions where I sense he understands; he just doesn't want to admit it. A few days ago we were talking about it and he asked if he wasn't going home. I again explained that there was no one home to care for him. At first he protested, seemed to think he'd be fine on his own. He even claimed he could go up and down the stairs in his house! I challenged that assertion by saying, "You can't even walk two steps to your wheelchair!" Grandpa insisted he could, so I jumped up and moved his wheelchair back three feet from the sofa where he was sitting. "Okay, let's see. Go to your wheelchair." He stood up on wobbly legs, using the sofa arm to brace himself. He started to move one step -- needing at least two steps to reach the wheelchair arms -- and then he couldn't even move one step! He sat back down, panting heavily. It was obvious from his expression that he was surprised by his lack of ability, but even he had to admit that stairs were not an option. Of course Grandpa forgets all this -- his inabilities, our conversations. Maybe it sinks in slowly. He has shown more comfort at being here. The first week all he could think about was going home. Lately he talks about it less and less. Photo: "Mayhem and Grandpa sleeping." ____________________________________________________________ 002.2: Grandpa Reads a Story... Sort Of Life with no short term memory I printed a copy of my cousin Peter Pincosy's taxi story for Grandpa to read. In a large font, it took up nine pages. Grandpa diligently went to work reading it, between naps on the sofa with his mouth hanging open. He'd wake up and continue reading. This happened all afternoon and I was pleased and he seemed to enjoy the story. Later, I saw he'd reached page eight and was almost done. The next day, however, I saw he was back on page two. He'd completely forgotten reading it the day before and now had to start over! Unfortunately, the story's too long for him to read in one sitting, so I doubt he'll get through it, though we'll see. He reads magazines but there appears to be no rhyme or reason to his methods: sometimes he's near the end, then later I see he's at the beginning. I think he reads the same articles over and over again, though I suspect that though he can't consciously remember the article, his subconscious subtly tells him he's read it by making it seem boring. ____________________________________________________________ 002.3: The Busy Street Grandpa's meal-time conversation lacks variety My dining table looks out over the front lawn and on to the street. At every meal we sit and look outside. At every meal, at least three or four times, Grandpa mentions how much traffic goes down my street. "My, a lot of cars go down this street!" "Boy, where are all those cars going?" "This street must be a highway or something. All those cars." Each time, this is said with all the enthusiasm, verve, and delight of a remarkable new discovery. We've had nearly seventy meals at this table, and with a conservative three mentions per meal, I've heard this traffic revelation at least two hundred times, probably more. I guess this is how one learns patience. Of course this is made worse by the fact that the road isn't particularly busy, at least to me, coming from California. Most times there's a car or two per minute, a few more during commuting hours. But it's really a peaceful, quiet neighborhood. ____________________________________________________________ 002.4: The Missing Dinner Grandpa is starving The other night my mother was in the area and stopped by to say hello and stayed for dinner. We refreshed the leftover taco salad with crispy chips, avocado, cheese, and new lettuce. Grandpa seems to have trouble with salad -- I think the lettuce is difficult for him to chew -- and usually doesn't eat much. But this time I was surprised because he completely cleaned his plate and had room for dessert (chocolate ice cream) afterward! The funny thing was that later that night I found Grandpa puttering in the kitchen. He was hungry. I sliced up half an apple for him and put it in a bowl, but as he took it from the kitchen he raided by cashew jar with a handful of nuts also! "Why are you so hungry? Didn't you have any dinner?" I teased, knowing he'd had a large (for him) portion. "No, I didn't." "You don't remember eating?" "No, I haven't eaten since lunch. I'm starving." "You didn't eat dinner with Carol and I?" "No, I didn't get any food. I don't remember why." Poor Grandpa. Now he thinks I'm starving him! ____________________________________________________________ 002.5: That's Two Grandpa's subtle sense of humor shows Inspired by Aunt Nita, I had blueberries to put on our Corn Flakes one breakfast. Blueberries are supposed to improve the memory of laboratory rats, so I'm hoping they'll work on Grandpa (except he's supposed to eat a whole cup a day and I can't get him to eat a cup a week). As I finished off the little dish of berries, I asked Grandpa if he wanted more, sure he'd say no (he never wants seconds and rarely finishes what's on his plate). After thinking about it for several long seconds starting me wondering if he understood the question, he finally responds, "Just one." "Okay, here, have this big fat juicy one," I said, placing one blueberry in his dish. "That's two," he moaned mournfully, as though I was torturing him. ____________________________________________________________ 002.6: Question of the Week "How much sleep is Marc getting?" One of the surprises of Grandpa moving in was discovering that he wakes up every few hours during the night and needs to urinate. He doesn't get much advance warning of this incipient event, so he has a bottle to pee in next to his bed. But of course he can't find it so he calls out for my help. (My mom brought me a cowbell for him to ring when he needs me, but of course he forgets and just yells.) For the first week or so of his stay, he'd wake me three times a night, usually just needing help finding the urinal which he'd hidden from himself by using it and then placing it in a different location. Fortunately, I've got him trained better now. I keep his wheelchair flush with the bed (oops, poor choice of words there) and the urinal, cowbell, and box of tissues all right there, and he usually puts it back there and then is able to find it again. Thus the night calls have dwindled to about one call every two nights now. Unfortunately, my sleep is still lacking. I'm a terrible insomniac and once woken, it takes me at least an hour to get back to sleep. Even now that he's not calling me as often, I'll still wake up thinking I might have heard something and listen for a few minutes to the still of the night until I'm convinced that it was something else. It's a bit nerve-wracking. Fortunately, it's been getting better the last week or so. I think my body's adjusting. I don't wake up as alarmed as I used to do (initially I woke up as though the house was on fire and took me a good two hours for the adrenaline rush to fade and for me to get sleepy again). Another problem is that Grandpa won't go to bed on time! We'll watch some TV in the evening, which essentially means that Grandpa falls asleep within fifteen minutes of the program's start and wakes up for the final five minutes. This means he's getting sleep while I'm awake. Come ten or eleven o'clock when I'm ready to go to bed, he wants to stay up! So the real question is not the _amount_ of sleep Marc is getting, but the _when_. I have found that mimicking Grandpa's napping schedule isn't a bad idea! Around two or three o'clock in the afternoon you'll find both of us sprawled on the sofas, snoring away. (At least Grandpa snores. I'm sure I don't. :-) Photo: "Grandpa sleeping on the sofa." ____________________________________________________________ 002.7: Colophon Publication Title: Adventures With Grandpa (tm) Frequency: Weekly Price: $1,000,000 per issue Publisher: Marc Zeedar Author: Marc Zeedar Photographer: Marc Zeedar Copyright: Contents (photos and text) (C) 2005 by Marc Zeedar All Rights Reserved Telephone: 877-364-5922 Website: http://www.zeedar.com/grandpa/ To add, remove, or change your subscription details; make suggestions or complaints; report typos or errors; send millions of dollars; or send Grandpa or Marc a comment, send email to . If you'd like to telephone Grandpa (he loves to hear from people and he'll chat like the wind though he won't remember the call ten minutes later), you may call him toll-free at 877-364-5922. ###